Heartbreak in our Journey

We received news last week that our sweet little Pixie is no longer available for adoption. A family member has taken her home. E-mail from our facilitator states: "As you know in the light of the investigation of the child death case the general prosecutor's office demanded that Irkutsk authorities question all papers and talk to all relatives of the children offered for adoption. As a result we lost very many children for our adoptive parents. The investigation is still under way, two baby home directors in Irkutsk were forced to leave."
At this time we know that at least 30 children have been reclaimed by family members in the last 2 months. In the meantime the judge continues to not set court dates for anyone. We have heard that the judge has told the guardian committees that they must do absolutely everything they can do to have these children reclaimed by families or adopted by Russians.
In the five years that Pixie was in the orphanage, not one family member visited her, every year until this year they have signed away all rights to her; she has an older brother and sister in the orphanage whose rights have not been given up, but they were not reclaimed. This judge has made it her personal responsibility to make sure the children of Irkutsk are not adoptable.
I can not say that this is not a better situation for our Pixie, to live with biological family, but this is what we know about her family. Her mother walked off and left her at the hospital the day she was born, never visiting her. She lives in a one room apartment with a man who is not Pixie's father and his 2 teenage sons. Her grandparents, an aunt, uncle and 2 cousins live in a 2 room shack without running water and indoor plumbing and have no visible means of income. We have learned that some families are being paid a monthly stipend if they take the children home, much like our own foster care system.
My heart is broken in two. We have been bonding with these two children for two years, have decorated their room, bought them toys and cloths and quite honestly it feels like a death. I grieve daily, I see their faces in everything I do. We do intend to go ahead and continue to await a court date for Alyssa, but quite honestly do not believe she will be available much longer. In my heart of heart I have to believe God does have a purpose in this, but I can't understand how there could be purpose in us be strung along for 2 years, for us to even meet these children, for Pixie to go back to poverty stricken, alcoholic families. I feel selfish, but all I have done for the last two years is prepare to be their mother. And now I'm lost.